Slap me awake!

I'd been unconcious all this while, i realised!

Save me please! Out of the well, that is pulling me deeper and deeper. Tangled me as if it wanted to swollow me up! I can't get up on my own force. You're standing so afar looking at me... But yet, you turned blinded eyes on me. Your facial expression told me you wanted me to be dead! "Why?!" I cried! With a lump choked on my breathing pipe.

The next moment i realised, i'm sitting up in bed, panting and tearing!

This type of scene had not happened to me for a very long time. I thought i had overcome it. But who knows, i'm just throwing all of it at the back of my head, refused to dwell in it. But also refusing to get a clear cut from it. It's Hindrance!

I hate my way of reacting. I find myself tolerating my best friends just because they amused me with the fonding towards my dearest love! I shuldnt be giving it a damn. But i just couldnt. I'm sorry. I'm way too different and far off from what you guys had imagine i am. I can't hide my feelings well, if you are observance enough.

I'm 100% more weaker! 100% more emotionally breakdown! 100% more in love with him. 100% more easier to get jealous! 100% more reckless! 100% more lousy to know what's right for me!

Stay away from me , i hope! The more i wanted to gt ard humans, the more i felt the needs to isolate myself. They're just too scary, too scary to be seen through. Their hearts, their thoughts, it is not somthing i will want to know! It'll just hurt me more. shattered me into even more piece!

Am i back to square one again? To the sophia that live out of reckless doing? Doing things just to please her own physical being, regardless of how broken is her soul?

I'm tired! Eddie is like an temptation, luring me to be rebellious, reminding me of my bad "good" times! I'm controlling! But his even more than i expected!

IHATEYOUYETILOVEYOUTOOMUCH! YOUSAIDYOUWILLBETHEREFORME,BUTWHEREAREYOUWHENINEEDEDYOUTHEMOSTNOW?
WHAT'STHEPOINTOFSTEPINGINONLYWHENI'DBEENTHROUGHITALL,ALONE?
WHENITHOUGHTYOU'RESPECIAL,YOU'REACTUALLYJUSTLIKEANYOTHERGUY.
BETRAYER!
IDON'TKNOWWHYAREYOUSOIMPORTANTTOMYLIFE?
YOU'RELIKETHEAIRTHATIBREATHE!ICANDIEANYMOMENTYOUSTEPAWAY!