A Thought.

I need a glimpes of Hope!
Would you show me the way like what you've always did?
I'm shaken once again. By the alluring opportunity right infront of me.
It's hard. Extremely hard!
It's captivating my everything.
It'd been so long that i almost forgotten how it feels like to have somebody so dazling
infront of you, snatching away all your focus.
That feeling/experience/coincident, whatever it is la..
Is back!
But why now?
At Such a imperfect timing.

Maybe i can/will react like normal person now?
Who knows?
I mean it'd been a year or so since the last incident.
and till now i'm still scare of him.
hahaha! I'm sorry. But i really cnt explain why is that so..
WHATEVER..

Sometimes, i'm just so bothered by my weird being, i swear into the mirror where it reflects back to my eyes.
It'd nvr been a smooth, a bed of roses journey for me.
Nvr once.. Yes.. All along.
But i hang on!
But now, parents' salvation are more impt than any other thingy.
I have a choice..
But, will this be the best and right choice. For the rest of my life, when i'm still breathing?

I do hope someone, a special someone will be there to listen to all that i have to say.
Give me his best advise.
Guiding me along.
and i will be able to tear down the cold bricks wall that i've build to protect my heart from all the wide-eyes fears!
At least, i can/dare to do that when he's with me.
But whether i'm able to accept and believe and have faith in this special him that he'll not bring hurts into my life like what .............
It's another total different matter.
I do hope i will and can!!
God, you'll guide yea?
It's only you now that i can trust and cast all my burdens upon.

I'm not that Sophia that you see in the outward.
I'm liken to a - Grapefruit - I would say.
I may look normal, not appealing at all or even not catchy on the outward
but i'm actually, infact full of unknowns in the inward.
A grapefruit flesh is sour yet bitter..
It's in a total different colour compare to it's skin.
It's so much more tender. Unlike the skin. So rough..
It's easily broken in the inner than to the outer.
I can do all the saying,
But it's up to you to discover, unfold, know the in depth.
Would you take that effort? Cause you know i don't know how to..

I guess..
I'm worned out..
Let me sleep all i can..
I hope to get better tmr!
Yes.. That should be it.

Can you understand me this time round? I mean, my post?
It's like rojak, i would say.
You will when you're really keen about it.

"Love is like building a bridge of Chance"
It involves alot alot of patience, hope, faith, perserverance and many more elements.
I am a lousy receiver of love at the other end, i would say!
I hope it's only for now.
I'll overcome it yea? soon? I really hope so..