S O P H I A!


I'm really random!! My feelings can just change like immediatly?

Like last night. On my way home. I almost cry in the train again. But ty God i didnt. There's so many people. My tears almost shoot out le. ); Due to some heart painful stuff.

Well. Whenever i make a fuss over everythingy and cry all i want, i tend to reflect. I always think, what happen to the Sophia that is out there encouraging people? Where is the Sophia that'll look at the positive side instead of dwelling in her own prob? Where is the faith that i have whenever i met prob gone to? When is all the spirits tha i use to talk to so many people, to help them out of their tough time gone to?

KNOCK KNOCK!!!! Where are you?

I often only know how to encourage others, solve others prob, cater to others needs but often i forgotten how to do all this to myself ):

Since dad had his own business, time with them become so super little. I really want some care and warm from them! Not those "Have you eaten?" or "There's your money." ! I rather you give me your ears and listen to all i wanna say and give me a tight warming hug and say "it's alright my dearest." Can you all really understand what i really want or am?

Well. I do understand too that, we're from different generation. So you all don't really like hugging and thoes say nice word stuff. Cause to you all all this means too pampering the children le. But I 'm a human too. I need to feed on all this too de uh! At least don't push me away when i say i love you mummy or daddy? Or when i want a hug? You all can be busy but i really hope things don't change..

Hello daddy. This is why i hate to stay at home? We're may be there physically for eachother but there's no connection at all. We're either doing our own stuff or staying in our own room. So what's the point of me at home and you at home? Just to "看家" ? Look after the house? What a laugh?

Stop telling me to give is better than to get la! I had enough of all this nonsense. Ya la! I'm more of the emotional type not practical type can? I NEED MORE INNER HEALING THAN PHYSICAL can? I just love to cry all i want can? I just don't wanna act as if i'm standing strong and nothing happen can? I just love to let all my feelings out can? I just love people to dote on me like a kid can?

Ben once told me, "Wah! Feel that you very expressive lei."

Yaya. Whatever it is, I love to express out rather den keep it inside, But often, people don't understand and i got scolded in the end for being stupid. I guess you find me scary now bahs?

Like past few weeks, I shared with my parents i had nightmares. Instead of consoling me or stuff, they scolded me stop being inmature! WTH??? Nightmares = Inmature thinking???

It's always because of stuff like that, that makes me so don;t feel like opening up to them anymore, And they ended up saying i don't say how they know. What a joke it is?

Also sometime when i say half way and don't feel like talking anymore, i'm being said i'm weird!! WHY? I really don't understand? Can't i be like that? Who say once i shared, i cnt keep a lil things to myself?

Well. If that's the case, PLEASE know me inside out before knocking on my heart to be my friends.

This is also why i love/bias/feel more confortable with my F-nine than anyone else or even my family. They understand me inside out? Even though some may not really know but they know when i wanna say i'll find them automatically. They will always be there behind me, support me. They won't make a fuss when i choose who i wanna share my stuff with. They know i cry randomly and they don't mind nor say any hurtful words. We're sisters that choose to be there for one another no matter what. Or even sometime we may don't really know what's going on in each other life, but we put in the effort to care for one another despite whatever thingy.

I really really love you girls to the max!!! Thanks for being there and nvr leave me alone despite i'm a weirdo form you all.

I even joke with them sometime that, if they're guys, i'll definitly fall in love with them den. hahahas.

Oh. Many thanks to daus too... He's always there for me too. I appreciated you so much. Thanks. It's a plesure to know you (: Hang out with us soon!